Dorfus Pottysprinkles

Now, you should know this came to me in an email and I'm not one to post about an email, that seems silly, but after I read my friend who was the sender of said email's name, I couldn't help but share this with the world. (Or the 2 people that may read this blog on occasion.) I promise this is so worth the laugh. I, for the record, am Boobie Chickenhead, but the person that sent this to me (who I miss dearly, as I have not laughed nearly as hard as I did with her) is named Dorfus Pottysprinkles and I dedicate this post to her. Love You!

The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names... So:-

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = snickle

b = doombah

c = goober

d = cheesey

e = crusty

f = greasy

g = dumbo

h = farcus

i = dorky

j = doofus

k = funky

l = boobie

m = sleezy

n = sloopy

o = fluffy

p = stinky

q = slimy

r = dorfus

s = snooty

t = tootsie

u = dipsy

v = sneezy

w = liver

x = skippy

y = dinky

z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin

b = feather

c = batty

d = burger

e = chicken

f = barffy

g = lizard

h = waffle

i = farkle

j = monkey

k = flippin

l= fricken

m = bubble

n = rhino

o = potty

p = hamster

q = buckle

r = gizzard

s = lickin

t = snickle

u = chuckle

v = pickle

w = hubble

x = dingle

y = gorilla

z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt

b = boob

c = face

d = nose

e = hump

f = breath

g = pants

h = shorts

i = lips
j = honker

k = head

l = tush

m = chunks

n = dunkin

o = brains

p = biscuits

q = toes

r = doodle

s = fanny

t = sniffer

u = sprinkles

v = frack

w = squirt

x = humperdinck

y = hiney

z = juice

So...what's your new name???

Wonder Baby Plays...

Post Script: Reading back over the title made me think of the line in Oceans 13 where Matt Damon has on that ghastly nose prosthetic and says "The nose plays, oh the nose plays." Funny. I love those movies.
And plays, and plays and plays. You get the idea right? This was in SLC at the famous Sunday Dinner. I was sitting at the table after eating, in my food coma, when I hear one of the girls behind me. "Aunt Mollie, you gotta come look at AJ." Sidenote - I had such good intentions to call Wonder Baby "A.J." When he was born, Anthony just seemed too big of a name for such a little guy, plus it just didn't FEEL right. I would've called him Jack, but Bug Man about has a coronary when I bring that up, so I settled on AJ. I even called him that in a few blog posts. It never stuck. Eventually I came around to calling him Anthony, when I'm not calling him one of my made up pet names, and it finally sounds and feels like his name and now when I hear someone (my family) call him AJ, I don't really like it. But, I can't take it back now because I started it all. What's a girl to do? I digress, back to the girls calling for me to come look. They had somehow negotiated a sweet deal with this black cat to sit still while Wonder Baby checked him out. It was really quite adorable. He's so used to his 100+ lb. chocolate lab, that any other animal, he thinks he can lay on, squeeze, pull various apendages, etc. The most shocking part is that Wonder Baby was done before the poor cat was. I have a friend (who I've sadly lost touch with... Dori, you out there?) who named their cat "Poor Kitty" for various reasons, but I always cracked up at that. Poor Kitty.Then Eliza started chasing the baby around, waving her fists at him, which he thought was THE funniest thing he'd ever seen. Laughing, Laughing, Laughing. It was so entertaining. He formed an attachment to this basket, which is the same size as him, and held on to it for dear life. I have no greater joy than hearing my child laugh, and giggle and squeal.And look at that smile. I think these two wore each other out.I love those chubby fingers, barely there hair, squishy cheeks, ok, ok, ok, so I'm a LITTLE bias, but come on, look at him.How can you not?He loves playing at Nana and Pop's house.What is it with babies being chased, they run, giggle, pause so you can get them, tickle them and put them back down to run and chase again.We had a grand ol' time.And by we I mean Anthony and Eliza. I was a mere spectator.With a camara.*Heart Melts* Then a little spinning. What is it with babies and spinning?Dizzy.Man, I love these kiddos.

Martha Who?!?

That Martha lady's got nothin' on us. (Martha, if you're reading this, I didn't mean it. You're the best.) While I was in Utah, My great friend Megan and I threw our friend Katie a bridal shower. Here's Katie below, she's getting married. Isn't she purdy. We've been friends since we were little ones. Well, if I'm being honest, I was never little. I'm 5' 11" and I have been since I was 4. But we were quite young, anyway.

This is Megan. She moved into our neighborhood when she was 6 and we've been great friends ever since. She's Martha Stewart incarnate. I'm telling you, she sews, she cooks, she crafts, she blogs, and she's a mom. She made the decorations for this shin-dig. They were the cutest darnit things ever. The perfect accent.The food, oh, the food. Does anyone recognize a pattern when I post about a party. FOOD FIRST. We wouldn't want to hurt it's feelings. We put Jack to work at the grill. Chicken marinated in italian dressing. I recommend cooking on foil, otherwise you get blackened chicken, which was not what we were going for here. Of course, Jack already knew that because he's the best. EVER. We kept it pretty simple. Chicken, Watermelon, Summer Spinach Salad and Chicken and Grape Pasta Salad. The Summer Spinich Salad was my creation. In an attempt to recreate the Summer Salad from Yard House (have you tried it? Seriously, go there now. Eat it. You'll never be the same.) I came up with this, which is close, but no cigar. It's still pretty good though. It's consists of: Spinach, oranges, avocados, strawberries, sunflower seeds, gorgonzola and the best dressing I can find for it is Gerrard's White Balsamic. Oh, my is it ever tasty. Great, now I'm hungry. I'll be right back.I'm back, thanks for waiting. Here is Meg's pasta salad that I've been sitting by the phone for weeks now, waiting for the recipe. (Just kidding Megs, no rush, you've got a lot going on right now.) It was so good. Spiral pasta, grapes, celery (a sure fire way to my heart), cashews...other stuff? Don't remember, but I do remember that I must eat it again. Soon. Watering hole. (Can you use the word 'hole' on a post about a bridal shower? Seems wrong.) Tracy, Megan's mom, made her famous Lemeon Acid to drink.However, because you can't use the word 'acid' at a bridal shower (or hole) she called it Lemon Ice, just for us. For the non-adventurous types, just some plain ol' water. I love water, drink about 3 liters a day. Spend a lot of time in the ladies room. Ok, now I'm positive you can't talk about THAT in a bridal shower post, I'm just sayin'...Ok, so the food part in my opinions is just a formality in order to get to dessert. Here's the dessert table. We had plenty o' sweets. Chocolate cupcakes, Vanilla Cupcakes, We found the bling for the cupcakes the night before, thanks to Megan and her creativity. I never would have thought to find GIANT diamond rings for the cupcakes. Gook thinkin' Meg. Plus we had a REALLY good time goofing off at the party store with our husbands and children in tow, just like we were 12 again. Except for the husbands and children part...we knew nothing of that when we were 12.I made some cake pops, with the help of one lovely Bikini-clad baking assistant. Could have done it with out her. Thanks Puhmella.Aren't they cute? Who can resist cute food, who? Nobody, that's who.

The decor... was perfect. My Mama had everything perfect on her patio. Her chairs painted, pots planted, pergola built, lawn mowed, tables set up, table clothes made, hurricanes ready. I tell ya, she worked like a slave on my behalf. I really appreciated it too! It was perfect.Her patio really is the perfect place for a sumer evening gathering. Shaded under the big pine trees, creek running through the back, twinkle lights, etc. When I first told her I was throwing a shower, I told her I wanted to do it at a cool, swanky hotel or something. Just to be different. I've been to a lot of punch and cookies type showers (no offense to you punch and cookie types, really) and I really wanted to do something DIFFERENT. This turned out to be THE perfect setting. Thanks to my mama and her out-door genius. And her in-door genius. Ok, she's just a genius all around.Truth be told, she might have been happy to have an excuse to crack the whip on the pergola getting done.I'd say it came out nicely. Good work Jack and Eric, good work. I decided to cross the creek to get the party from a different angle, and zoomed on Megs and told her to smile. (Sorry Megs, I had to put this in here.) If ANYONE can tell me WHAT she's doing, I'd really appreciate it. Wonder Baby isn't quite old enough to stand and urinate like boys do, but I think this is kind of what it looks like. I think. (Sorry, urinate is probably on the list of non-shower approriate words...)Megs, you're at a BRIDAL shower for crying out loud, what are you doing? Maybe a boy is in the works for you on round 2.Here's the across the creek (pronounced KR-EE-K...if anyone of you say KR-ICK, please get out. No, not really, please don't leave, I beg you.) photo. Isn't her yard pretty? Please note Jack in the apron in the way way way back. Remember how I said he's the best. EVER.?!? He just blends into the backgound and does as he's told. Most the time. Love you dad!Out the patio door...We had a good time.I saw OLD friends, and met new friends, and took pictures (sorry it's so dark...havn't edited yet...I was too anxious to get it on the blog), and enjoyed the scenery.I love celebrating marriage, babies, friends, family, really anything. Doesn't hurt that cake is usually involved. It was fun to celebrate Katie. She's so fun to be around and has lots of different friends and a big family. We may have a had a laugh at here expense...sorry girl, but the why-tamins story had to be told. What's that you say? You want to hear the why-tamins story. Readers Digest version: Katie asked a sales clerk at a make-up counter, who had a VERY thick greek accent, who had just described the great-ness of a product because it had so many vitamins (due to the accent, sounded like why-tamins) and minerals..."Oh, what are why-tamins?" Her response: "You know, like why-tamin A, why-tamin B..." I left a solider behind. I had to leave the poor girl standing there all by herself to defend her question because I simply COULD NOT contain my laugher. Oh, that Katie, she's funny.

Sorry for repeating it again. I can't promise it won't happen again in life, I mean we're young. Instead of planning and executing a dumb shower game (again, no offense to those shower-game players, really.) that no one really wanted to play anyway. We started a poem and passed it around for everyone to add a line or two to. Here's Meg's bling. I'm thinking 10 year upgrade?Here's a picture of the cute notebook(s) I found to give out as favors. They were a big hit!Here's the Queen's chair. A place to check out her loot. Er, I mean a place for the delicate bride-to-be to open her gifts of fine China, and serving platters. Ok, who are we kidding, it's loot.She cleaned up. Kate...I expect a batch of fresh baked cookies, and a pot-roast from your new crock pot and dessert from your new dessert dishes and for my hiney not to hurt, because you got cute new chair cushions. I know you have all that stuff now...I know you do!Here's the bride-to-be...and her mom, Judy.Here's Connie Jean, who I had not seen for probably 15 years. Connie Jean is showing off her bling. You go girl.Here's Katie, Connie Jean's daughter, who I also havn't seen for almost as long. She's cute, and funny and single (sorry Katie, I had to do it) for all you single, cute, funny men...Here's Katies friend (insert name here...sorry I can't remember...)And Liz, one of Katies bridesmaids.And Kathleen, Liz's mom...Friend... (Kate...name? I am so bad at this.)And Meagan...she's Levi's (Katie's finance) niece. She introduced the two lovebirds.

Here's Angela and her baby. They didn't get to stay very long, but it was good to see her too.This is Matilda. Her name isn't actually Matilda, I just can't remember it either ( I met so many new peeps that night) so I just thought I'd start making up names for those I don't remember. So, Matilda it is.It was a great time, and I'm so happy we got to do it! That week we did lots of fun wedding stuff... more to come!

So, with that...congrats Katie, can't wait for the wedding!